Castles--to a kid--belong back there past cowboys and Indians, with kings, queens, knights, battles, maybe with pirates and explorers, but not as far back as the Bible stories, and they’re a little mixed up with history, but mostly belong to the world of story. Castles--to draw--have crenellated battlements and towers, but also pointy-top towers for flags to fly from. Castles have unhappy princesses and princes who go on quests.
It has been a disillusionment as an adult to think of the dismal reality of most people’s lives in the age of castles. Maybe it’s presumptuous and chauvinistic to assume that their lives were miserable. How much have we gained over time? How much do personal freedom and advances in technology add to the quality of life? Quite a lot, probably. I would have been dead in childbirth, if not before from other causes. So a 30-year lifespan. I would be sad to miss the past 15 years of my life. And I am glad that I have been able to choose my work, that I am educated, that I am not automatically 2nd class and owned by men. I’m glad to live in the present, despite missing out on romantic castles.
Showing posts with label feminism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label feminism. Show all posts
Monday, March 16, 2009
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Doing the Washing Up
We cook and clean up for ourselves for most of our meals on the trip. 
One day John had the students listen to Frasier reciting Robert Burns and I stayed behind washing up (2005):
One day John had the students listen to Frasier reciting Robert Burns and I stayed behind washing up (2005):While I was in the members' kitchen, a group of school-children came in, I'd guess between 6-10 years old, and enthusiastically began washing dishes in the sink next to me. One young man said he hoped to open a dishwashing shop, at 20p per dish. I said I wished I had such good helpers. A tiny girl said, "But you're from America, aren't you? I wouldn't want to go to America just to wash dishes!"
At which point I had several immediate and somewhat contradictory thoughts:
1. And I don't want to go to Scotland just to wash dishes!
2. Wherever you go, someone has to do the washing up, and the sooner you learn to do it yourself, the better.
3. A great many immigrants to America (and to Scotland) end up washing dishes, or doing similar jobs.
John Lennon (or somebody) said once, "Woman is the n___ of the world." That's one way to see it. But another way is that somebody has to gently encourage the children to do their washing up (both actually and metaphorically): to clean up after themselves, to not leave big messes behind, to treat the world gently, tread lightly, be mindful, take care. Learn to be a custodian, not an exploiter. If that's my job, I'm OK with it.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Mad Bad and Dangerous
That quote about Byron led to the following thoughts (2003):
It is good to keep the company of poets. It is hard to keep company without becoming mother, sister, caretaker, keeper. But how will women poets ever write unless they care for themselves and let the male poets do the same? Is it possible to be a poet and a caretaker? I don't know.
Every young woman should love her poet and leave him, or be left (or not), to recognize that the poet she is responsible for is the one inside her own head.
It is good to keep the company of poets. It is hard to keep company without becoming mother, sister, caretaker, keeper. But how will women poets ever write unless they care for themselves and let the male poets do the same? Is it possible to be a poet and a caretaker? I don't know.
Every young woman should love her poet and leave him, or be left (or not), to recognize that the poet she is responsible for is the one inside her own head.
Grumpy Notes on Rabby Burns (2005)
What is the deal with these writers?
Whenever I hear or think about this or that famous male writer having this or that affair or catching syphilis or whatever, I get a terrible choking feeling of claustrophobia for the women in their lives. The sluts and whores were available to them, as were their own chaste wives (and sometimes sisters)--the men could be sexual or chaste in their relationships as they chose--but women were absolutely one or the other, and once the line was crossed there was no going back. Neither slut nor pure woman was educated, owned so much as her own clothing. Poor and ignorant no matter the wealth, education, and power of their husbands or patrons, they were doomed to think ignorant, restricted thoughts and live ignorant, restricted, dependent, parasitic lives, until brought down by disease or childbirth.
John says maybe the women didn't feel that way. And there may be modern women who would consider my life chokingly claustrophobic. It is true that I have a strong, almost preconscious conservative bent, which I believe has to do biologically with having and raising children. To attach to one man, stay with him, raise his children is good. Is enough. When the exclusive relationship goes both ways. It's thinking about a woman's exclusive relationship with a promiscuous man that makes me crazy.
Whenever I hear or think about this or that famous male writer having this or that affair or catching syphilis or whatever, I get a terrible choking feeling of claustrophobia for the women in their lives. The sluts and whores were available to them, as were their own chaste wives (and sometimes sisters)--the men could be sexual or chaste in their relationships as they chose--but women were absolutely one or the other, and once the line was crossed there was no going back. Neither slut nor pure woman was educated, owned so much as her own clothing. Poor and ignorant no matter the wealth, education, and power of their husbands or patrons, they were doomed to think ignorant, restricted thoughts and live ignorant, restricted, dependent, parasitic lives, until brought down by disease or childbirth.
John says maybe the women didn't feel that way. And there may be modern women who would consider my life chokingly claustrophobic. It is true that I have a strong, almost preconscious conservative bent, which I believe has to do biologically with having and raising children. To attach to one man, stay with him, raise his children is good. Is enough. When the exclusive relationship goes both ways. It's thinking about a woman's exclusive relationship with a promiscuous man that makes me crazy.
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